What women can offermen
Guest Author -
Joanna T.
Suisse.
It’sbeen a while now since Christian J and I embarked on creating a‘WoManifesto’ to mark this new year, 2012.
Heasked me to write a post on ‘what women can offer men’ as afollow on to ‘what women want’.
Ofcourse, one might be dismayed at the thought of doing it this wayround.
But Iexplained the reasons for doing it like we have in the previous postin this series.
Beforethis version, I had a nice draft of ‘what women can offer men’all typed up and shiny. All ready and good to go. All nicely wrappedup to be delivered to Christian.
Untilthat is, I came across this comment from a man talking about hisexperiences with a woman:
"Ihave a gift for picking up the snakes when I reach into theapple-barrel."
Now mynice draft is all (figuratively) torn up and has taken up permanentresidence in the (computer) bin.
It hitme that there is a certain sentiment, certainly in the Manosphere,perhaps also out there in blue pill world, among men, that if at allthere are apples in the barrel, they are certainly not getting theirhands on any. They keep getting the snakes.
It isone thing to ask, ‘where are all the good women?’.
It isquite another to say, ‘why do I keep getting snakes when all Iwant is a friggin apple.’
Now, Idon’t buy for one minute that this man’s experience is universal.It’s just not possible from a statistical point of view.
So, weknow there are snakes in the proverbial apple barrel. So that’s oldnews.
Butthere are also apples. Some are good apples, some are rotten apples.
Anotherman said this on a popular Manosphere blog:
‘Mendon’t need marriage. It is society’s and women’s job to sellmarriage to men.’
I hadheard that before. From another man, as it turns out.
I havenever met nor will meet any of these three men. But they havecontributed to my education about men.
Sohere I am doing their bidding. I am going to show you what a goodapple, as opposed to a snake, will offer you. And in so doing, I amselling marriage to you. Because although you don’t need it, thereis at least a small chance you might want it. Statistically speaking.
Whatcan a woman offer a man?
Quitesimply, what he doesn’t already have.
Herfemininity.
Simpleas that.
Exceptit is not so simple.
Becauseas you all know, women are complex, and therefore so is femininity.
Similarto what I like to call ‘outer Game’ (for example peacocking,negging, escalation), and ‘inner Game (stoicism, actions thatexhibit outcome independence, true character), femininity can bedivided into ‘outer’ and ‘inner’ versions.
Likethe PUA who gets all the girls with his ‘outer Game’, a woman’souter femininity certainly makes her visible to you. It’s greatbecause you are wired to respond to this. It brightens your day tosee a feminine woman.
Goodfor you.
Butthere is something else that is present in a good apple. If you arelucky enough that she is a ‘mature’ woman (nothing to do withage) and she has chosen you as her ‘king’ she should easily bringcolour to your ‘black and white’ life.
Shehas the ability to bring you what you will not get anywhere else:real womanly love.
Youwon’t get this from your male friends, of course, nor your brotheror father. They love you, sure but not the way we are talking abouthere. You won’t even get this from your female relatives, not yourmother or your sisters, and certainly not from all the women who haveLJBF’ed you.
Thisis a woman who will not see you down without getting down herself.Who will accept you for who you are, warts and all. She may notunderstand you fully, but she doesn’t have to, because she caresenough to make excuses for your failings. Her ‘rationalisationhamster’ works in your favour in this case! (There has to be asilver lining somewhere...)
Thisis a woman who not only wants to see you succeed, she doesn’t mindplaying second fiddle to you in the process.
Butthis is a woman who is also mature. So she chose right. Therefore youwill not feel tempted to take full advantage of what might be seen asher ‘weakness’ for you.
Becauseto get this good apple, she demands it of you to be one yourself.
That’swhat a (good) woman can offer you. Her good self, whilst at the sametime compelling you to be a better man.
A goodapple knows her own worth, without being over-entitled. She knowsthat it is better to ‘reject’ a man who is unsuitable for herthan plough ahead into a liaison with him for all the wrong reasonsand waste his time and hers. And worse, ruin his life and hers. Butshe does the rejection graciously.
A goodapple will let you know she is interested in you without yielding toyour will straightaway. She will again do this graciously. You shouldfeel there is ‘hope’ but you won’t get ‘instantgratification’.
A goodapple will demonstrate to you that she has the required skills thatare compatible with femininity in her dealings with you. She willdemonstrate her nurturing nature to you without trying to. Because itwill come naturally to her when she is with you.
Shemay not be demonstrative necessarily, but she will most likely bemore emotional than you, and more ready to show it.
Shewill most likely blow her fuse at you more times than you would like,but there will always be a cooling off period after which she will beall sweetness and light again.
Asopposed to a snake who wants you dead if she is not happy with youone time.
A goodapple is sincere with you. She will be honest with you, albeitmysterious in a way that actually adds to her allure. But she isnever deceitful nor manipulative.
Self-centrednessis never part of her way of life. But she will believe it is part ofyours
She issomeone who respects herself, so she will never have any troublerespecting you. She may worship the ground you walk on, but she willcall you out if you do something she does not find to her liking. Butshe won’t do this in public or in a way that demeans you.
Becauseshe understands that disrespect is your greatest peeve.
Sheunderstands your need for ‘alone time’ and won’t stop talkingwhen you come out of your cave to make up for lost time
Sheknows you are a hard worker, and is grateful for the life you providefor her.
Shewon’t try to compete with you because she knows that iscounterproductive and discordant.
Becauseshe wants harmony in the home. She thrives on her role as ‘peopleconnector’.
Shewill play the victim, but will admire you for never doing the samething.
Shewill look up to you and will be your biggest fan.
Evenif sometimes you really do not merit her support.
Butthat brings us back to her ‘hamster’.
Shewill moan about how you are such hard work. But she likes you justthe way you are.
Becauseshe got to know you well, and despite all your flaws she chose you.
A goodapple will make your life better than if you were on your own.
ButYOU will be the best judge of that.
From the Flip Side..
Christian J.
A reaction or response, depends..
I have been waiting to the next installment and looking forward to responding. That was right up until I actually read it..
What I was going to do was hurl the usual epithets, as has been the practice over the last few years, whenever I read the word "Woman". It's not that often that one single word invokes that much passion, but over the last couple of decades that overused label has been done to death as it usually came with it, the standard angst wringing cliches that we have come to expect. It brings back those "We need to talk" sms text messages one receives and you know immediately that the future is not looking too good and there is obviously something gravely wrong and guess who is going to get the lecture. As that "we need to talk" is never about anything positive, never ever, as most would already be well aware of. It's usually about something you have not done rather than something you could do. It is always laced with the equivalent angst level one expects when one learns that the Earth is about to come to an end or akin to receiving a tax bill from that department who sole responsibility is to instill misery, fear and suffering. You know, that kind of feeling..
That was what I expected, the usual demand list where numbers 1-100 consisted of what you had to do and zero indication of what she did.
That was right up until I read this expectant missive, this declaration, this unarguable list of salient facts that one prefers to forget as we spend way too much time with the Harridans, the toxic Snakes and Rotten Apples.
We honestly do forget how affected we are by the opposite sex and there is just no reasonable explanation that I am aware of that could deny that fact. Those who have been taken for a ride or done over, do have legitimate grievances and one has to battle through those issues. Which with hindsight, would still be vivid and raw, that any mention of the possibility of there being any reasonable females left out there must be someone's fantasy, as reality has taught them different. Especially where the manophere is concerned. Twice bitten etc..
But out there they are, not in massive doses, as we have seen and learnt, but a sufficient amount to ensure that if one follows their instincts and approached it with their eyes open, you will eventually track one down. To be honest, Jo's summary can be applied very nicely to my own partner without any fear of contradiction or delusion on my part. I know that some would be reeling back and saying "Yea right" as the above female is just too good to be true. How could one possibly exist except maybe in someone's dream. Well, I really do not know how else I can or could demonstrate that apart from the fact that I was not even aware of it myself, until now..
From the Flip Side..
Christian J. A reaction or response, depends..
I have been waiting to the next installment and looking forward to responding. That was right up until I actually read it..
What I was going to do was hurl the usual epithets, as has been the practice over the last few years, whenever I read the word "Woman". It's not that often that one single word invokes that much passion, but over the last couple of decades that overused label has been done to death as it usually came with it, the standard angst wringing cliches that we have come to expect. It brings back those "We need to talk" sms text messages one receives and you know immediately that the future is not looking too good and there is obviously something gravely wrong and guess who is going to get the lecture. As that "we need to talk" is never about anything positive, never ever, as most would already be well aware of. It's usually about something you have not done rather than something you could do. It is always laced with the equivalent angst level one expects when one learns that the Earth is about to come to an end or akin to receiving a tax bill from that department who sole responsibility is to instill misery, fear and suffering. You know, that kind of feeling..
That was what I expected, the usual demand list where numbers 1-100 consisted of what you had to do and zero indication of what she did.
That was right up until I read this expectant missive, this declaration, this unarguable list of salient facts that one prefers to forget as we spend way too much time with the Harridans, the toxic Snakes and Rotten Apples.
We honestly do forget how affected we are by the opposite sex and there is just no reasonable explanation that I am aware of that could deny that fact. Those who have been taken for a ride or done over, do have legitimate grievances and one has to battle through those issues. Which with hindsight, would still be vivid and raw, that any mention of the possibility of there being any reasonable females left out there must be someone's fantasy, as reality has taught them different. Especially where the manophere is concerned. Twice bitten etc..
But out there they are, not in massive doses, as we have seen and learnt, but a sufficient amount to ensure that if one follows their instincts and approached it with their eyes open, you will eventually track one down. To be honest, Jo's summary can be applied very nicely to my own partner without any fear of contradiction or delusion on my part. I know that some would be reeling back and saying "Yea right" as the above female is just too good to be true. How could one possibly exist except maybe in someone's dream. Well, I really do not know how else I can or could demonstrate that apart from the fact that I was not even aware of it myself, until now..
