Action Alert: Media Release from the Nobel Awards Committee..
It has been the decision of the committee of the Nobel Awards to change certain procedures in their presentation methodology. It has been bought to the attention of the Nobel Awards committee that individuals were disguising themselves as member of the opposite sex when receiving awards.
According to Gertrude Roggebrood, the committee Media Liaison and Agitprop Officer, stated “ We are very disappointed to see this behaviour taking place and we will make every effort to put an end to it, this type of behaviour must be stopped”.
The Nobel Awards committee was appalled to find that almost all of the award winners were disguised as men instead of showing themselves for whom they really were..
The committee for the Advancement of Reality and Exposure also made a similar statement which confirmed the appalling situation would indeed be exposed and reality, encouraged. Their spokesperson stated that “We were appalled and astounded to find this type of behaviour is still being undertaking by award recipients” said Morgana Sourdough, the committees' Public Interdepartmental Fraternity Commissariat Liaison specialist..
The Nobel Awards Committee have discovered that the majority of men, who have received awards for Medical, Science and Technology discoveries were not really men at all, as the Local Charter of the Feminist Hegemonists, recently informed the committee. They indicated in their letter to the Nobel Awards Committee, that it was not possible for men to be so over presented in those disciplines and that the committee should include as part of their assessment, a procedure of determining the real sex of the award recipient . “We” as the Local chapter of the Feminist Hegemonists explained “are convinced that one sex was being objectified to such a degree that they were too embarrassed to show themselves as being the right sex from the very start. We blame the “Awards committee” for their bias and discrimination”..
The Swedish Government also stated that they were really appalled at the situation. They stated that it would never happen in their politically correct society as the Department on Conniption was especially set up to combat any such situations, designed to stamp it out before it ever happened..
The Local Chapter of Feminist Hegemonists declared that they would ensure those unfortunate women would be granted a special award for being forced to humiliate themselves publicly by organising a “Cross-Dressers Revolt” protest and are considering organising those protests world wide, as a show of support and solidarity. They will use the slogan “Expose Yourself for what you really are” and assured this newspaper Journalist that they would have a massive following..”We will request all participants dress up as men to show their support for these unfortunate women” .
The posters have already been designed and distributed..